As “D” day (delivery) grew closer toward the end of my second pregnancy I found myself clinging to every moment and experience I could with just McKinley. I knew that the time where it was just her and I home together all day was coming to an end and I definitely had mixed emotions about it. Everything was about to change, we were about to ADD another human to our family. Boy was I wrong– I had no clue what we were in for.
I had pictured it the only way I could I guess, our family of three, plus one. Everything we knew and did currently.. plus another sweet girl. More stress, and another tiny human, sure.. but things were great so adding more love.. what’s the problem? The problem was I was imagining adding a newborn into the perfect schedule we had created. McKinley was like a well-oiled machine. She woke up at the same time, ate, napped, and bed– flawlessly to the point you could set your clock by her routine. I admittedly patted myself on the back a time or two for being that schedule mom- the one who really had it together. What I wasn’t prepared for (AT ALL) was how this newborn would affect our “perfect” schedule.
Within the first week home from the hospital it was apparent that I needed to change my expectations. It wasn’t fair to Ainsley to expect her to jump into this family of three we had grown into. That family was gone, forever. It was a wonderful chapter, but that’s all that it was. The day our second daughter was born was the first day as a family of four. All bets were off and it was time to start over.
Of all of the adjustments to having two under two, this was the most difficult for me. I lived for that routine and planned my days around it. Ainsley just turned 5 months and we are still struggling. I think over the next couple months we’ll finally get her naps figured out only to drop the morning nap a few months later. When they say the first year is the hardest they aren’t kidding. I would even say it’s harder the second time around.
One thing I know for sure, a year from now I won’t remember the exhaustion (as vividly) or the exact age we finally got Ainsley sleep trained. This too shall pass and the mom in me knows I will miss (parts of) it so much.