A few weeks ago Chad and I had a date night. My mom came to town and watched the girls so we could do that crazy thing you do before you have kids.. go to a restaurant, alone, and eat a meal of food in peace. (I know, the concept seemed foreign to me as well)
I could come up with a million reasons why we don’t have a local babysitter. “Ainsley has been too young” “We’re new(ish) to town.. we don’t know anyone” “No one can handle the bedtime routine” or if we put them to bed first… “What if they wake up crying and the babysitter can’t calm them down?” I could go on and on.. but the bottom line is I’m a control freak. Period. I basically trust no one to watch our children except my mother, and let’s be honest… I don’t exactly breeze out the door without a 37 point check list. (just ask her)
That being said (and I realize it’s time for me to work on that.. SOON) we had a kid-free evening and we couldn’t wait! I put my hot wife clothes on and got ready- very different than my usual yoga pants and day 3 messy top knot hair look. Of course Chad got dressed up too, and looked smokin hot with all of 5 mins of effort. (NOT FAIR!) And we were off!
With my recent dive into the work from home world I have struggled with the balance of being on my phone 24/7 and we had agreed ahead of time that this evening would be unplugged. I was excited, but also nervous. In the world we’re living in, as sad as it is, unplugging for even a few hours seems like an eternity.
Dinner went well, we laughed, enjoyed a peaceful meal and even flirted. It was fantastic! On the way home we decided to stop by the grocery store for a couple things we needed for the girls (it was date night, but we’re still very 30 and parents). On the drive home, without thinking, I hopped on my phone to check in with some of my coaches and boot campers. Chad just got quiet and didn’t say a word.
We pulled into our driveway and he quickly hopped out of the car and walked inside without so much as a word to me. WTF?? What was his problem?? We just had a date night and that’s how we walk in the door? I didn’t get it.
Once inside I was ready to let him know how pissed I was that he ended our date in such a rude way. Then he let me know how it really went..
He said that to him the date wasn’t over, but I got on my phone and ignored him the whole drive home. He then told me that if that was our first date he didn’t think he’d ask me out again. Wow. That was like a punch to the gut. I got it. For the first time I saw the importance of “date night” being the whole night. When did we just let go of the formalities of things in marriage? We can’t just physically go to a restaurant together and call it a date. We need to actually DATE each other.
I’m sure both of us will continue to mess up in this category, but it really clicked with me that night. In order for this marriage to stand the test of time we need to continue to fall in love with each other- pretty hard to do if you’re not unplugged and fully engaged.
Next time you get to have a date night- ask yourself– Would how I am acting get me a second date if we weren’t already married?