Giving Up Changed My Life

There was a time in my life, not long ago for the sake of full disclosure, that “God” wasn’t exactly part of my vocabulary. If I used the word it was certainly in vain and for profanity’s sake. I was absolutely too cool to be religious. It wasn’t for me, I had it all figured out. To me religion was for the weak, foolish people who obviously hadn’t thought it all through. I would even go as far as to say for a period of time I identified as an atheist.

As cliche as it sounds, and as it is quite frankly, that was until I hit my own personal rock bottom. I will never forget the day I was sitting on my mattress on the floor of a rented bedroom in a house full of guys I had met on Craigslist in Charleston, SC. Another short-term, terribly unhealthy relationship had recently ended, I was working two jobs, and I was the loneliest I had ever been.

I don’t know what came over me, but out of nowhere, I looked up and said “Ok. Ok, I get it. I give up. I can’t do this by myself anymore. I need your help.”

Lightning didn’t strike, there wasn’t a giant booming voice that called down telling me everything was going to be ok. The only immediate change was me. My heart changed in that moment. I let go. I let go of the burden of my mistakes and the belief that I had the power to handle everything myself.

Less than a week later I went on a blind date (with hesitation- because of aforementioned short-term, unhealthy relationship ending I was in a “no dating” phase). That night I met a man with the cutest smile and kindest eyes I had ever seen. For whatever reason(s) I immediately trusted him and felt safe. One month later he asked me to marry him and 6 months after that blind date we were on our honeymoon.

This story is personal to me and until very recently know one (not even my husband) had heard it- I don’t want the point of this message to be mistaken- I’m not saying “welcome God into your life and you’ll immediately meet the man of your dreams and live happily ever after!” What I am saying is sometimes we have to let go and stop trying to be so in control. Once I finally accepted that I was part of a bigger plan, and that I needed to lean into it and stop fighting it, my heart and mind were opened to things they never would have been.

If things aren’t going your way, or you’re struggling in a certain season of life- I encourage you to take a deep breath, and let go. Release the weight of the situation to someone who is far more capable of carrying it. You never know what may happen next and you don’t want to be so weighed down by your burdens that you miss it.