It’s time. Our youngest is almost 18 months old and hasn’t had a bottle in over 4 months. It’s time to clean out the kitchen cabinet that is overflowing with bottles, the bottle warmer, and all things “infant.”
The truth is, it has been time for awhile, but something in my mommy heart keeps stopping me every time I go to grab them out. I know they’re just bottles, and any sane woman would kill for 2 more shelves in the kitchen for things we actually use on a daily basis, but to me it’s more than that.
It’s saying goodbye to a chapter- a big one- one in which the woman who entered into it no longer exists. When you have 2 babies in 2 years all things “baby” become a way of life. Bottles on the counter, diapers hidden in every room of the house, pacifiers EVERYWHERE. But then you blink and your babies are toddlers and it hits you that day by day they need you less and less.
In raising these girls to be strong, independent, thoughtful, and kind I know this is exactly what I’m working toward and praying for every day, but as their mommy it hurts.
They’re 3 and 1- it’s not like I’m loading up the car and taking them to college, but Chad and I are having very serious conversations about being done so with each baby item I pack up or get rid of it becomes so final. Is this chapter that has been all that I’ve known for the past few years really over? Am I ready to make this transition?
The answer to that last question is of course no- are we ever ready, mamas? We’re ready to be done being pregnant- but not to take care of that tiny human. We’re ready to be done with the hassle of bottles, but not to give up holding and feeding that precious babe. We’re ready to be done with the giant strollers, but not the fear that comes with watching them run and make their own choices.
This mommyhood thing is such an emotional rollercoaster! It’s full of BIG time happiness and major heartache, but not one of us would trade it for the world.
So don’t judge me if I let those bottles sit in my cabinets for a little while longer, I’m just not ready.