To My Mini,
As you grow older and I get to see who you are and more of your personality something is becoming glaringly obvious: you are me.
It scares me and excites me at the same time. It is in the realization of this that I know I have no choice but to really accept and see all of the good, bad and ugly of myself. If I don’t, I know many future conversations and situations will be tarnished by my own hang ups.
It has been said the higher the peak the deeper the valley and that perfectly describes our personalities. You can show love and warmth unlike anyone, but the flip-side to that can be very difficult. The problem I already see is that with our similarities comes a push/pull of emotions. We are two forces of nature rarely working in unison.
You’re just a toddler now so our major conflicts consist of me having the audacity to give you the wrong sippy cup, or suggest you wear an outfit that just won’t do. These are things I can handle, and shrug off as “threenager” moments and the ridiculousness that is toddler life, but what about down the road when it’s about way more than picking the wrong bedtime story?
Will I say all the wrong things? Will I push you away when all I want is to be there for you? Will merely my existence cause you anger and frustration? I’m sure the answer is yes to all of those questions in the roller coaster teenage years that await us, and I am actually ok with it. I know it’s part of a mother/daughter relationship and a season we will go through- what I pray for is patience and strength.
Patience to let you come around in your own time because Lord knows we aren’t swayed by what others want us to think/feel and strength to keep coming back after every heartbreaking thing you will inevitably say to me and just love you where you are.
In just 3 years you have taught me more about myself than the previous 28, thank you for making me a mommy and blessing my life beyond words. And if you’re reading this as a teenager- give me a hug and tell me you love me!